It has been a deep and powerful time in my life, a time where certain situations and experiences are clearly calling me to grow. Recently I have been engaging with people that are deeply challenging for me, calling me to interact and navigate through my inner experience in a graceful way, without going into judgement, projection and blame. It has become very clear that these people are my greatest teachers right now, calling me to rise.
For a very long time I have reacted to peoples emotions and their projections on me. If I received a negative look or a comment that ruffled my feathers, these energies would send me into my own spin. Am I doing something wrong? Am I out of tune? The outside reflection would sometimes throw me out of my center, and I allowed their shit to be interwoven with my own inner space. These kinds of experiences fragmented my thought patterns, sucked my life energy and attention away from the moment and created deep suffering.
However, recently I have been shifting the perception. When I bump up against negative, challenging and uncomfortable situations or people, it has become a sort of a game, an energetic dance to bend, adapt, and shapeshift in a way that allows me to see that what they are holding or projecting IS NOT MINE.
Beyond My Own Judgement
A deep part of this recent internal work with myself is also about going beyond my own judgement of this person. Because lets face it, it’s very easy to blame and judge the other when we feel put down or judged ourselves . Inside myself, the moment I choose to say how dare they! or fuck you! or how unconscious they are to say or do that! I immediately drink that poison myself. It has been a profound revelation to understand that if someone is judgemental, rude, imposing, controlling or throws their anger towards me, it is a reflection of their own vulnerability, their own suffering. As we learn to not take things so personally, cultivate sharpened awareness and the courage to stand in our center, maybe this widened sight can shift the perception…and compassion and non attachment can arise…for the other and ourselves.
Art by Christopher Wilhelm