The road of intimate relationship is one of the most potent fields for growth and evolution.
Once the honeymoon has finished, the challenges and complexity of two people coming together to SHARE their life, sets the scene to meet the deepest layers of fear, resentment, judgement, expectation, projection, avoidance, and much more! 🙂
The question is, how do we come close again? After a conflict where we each drop into the “Beast” of ourselves and allow that energy to take over, how do we step out of our little filter of reality and the story that we are identified with? Instead of tucking the conflict away in our body and mind and allowing it to build into an irreparable gap, how do we open to intimacy again?
One of the greatest gifts of the challenges we meet within relationship is the possibility to see ourselves more clearly and with more honesty. Why do i get so triggered when he/she does that? Says that? The subtle eyebrow raise? That expression? That tone of voice?
What is the vulnerability within me that is being activated by this person in this moment in time?
One wise being has supported my beloved and I to truly meet that moment just before the “BEAST” takes over, and to look, feel, breathe. What is beneath this reaction that was about to explode out of me as rage, or pain or blame?
When each person has that commitment to truly take responsibility for what is moving through them, either in the moment or after the conflict…then something shifts. Instead of continually building up armor and walls between one another, we begin to actually, truly and deeply break through the protection, cultivating more trust and deepening our own self knowledge.
One practice that we use has saved us on many occasions, when we really need to clear and heal a conflict or when we are simply feeling the need to cultivate more intimacy and come closer.
Begin by simply sitting in front of each, creating eye contact and the first person shares, while the other listens, as an empty mirror, not responding in word or in body. This creates a safe container and builds trust to share in truth. The listener holds space and truly receives the other and what they are feeling. The first person shares about the experience of that moment…in their body, the emotion and allows the sharing to ARISE…cutting out the BLAME and using the words “I feel” instead of “YOU did this and this…” After the first one completes, the other one begins to share with the same intention and the same container of safe space.
From our experience This simple practice has moved mountains, revealed deep layers of vulnerability, profound personal insight, and discharged painful resentment that was affecting our flow of life. This sharing process is a tool that allows us to SEE and be SEEN. It removes the masks, breaks down the walls of protection and calls us into feeling and speaking the truth. It breaks the story that “I am Right” and allows each person to widen their compassion and really feel the other and what they are moving through. By touching the depth of vulnerability TOGETHER, we come closer, and pave the way for intimacy, safety and trust to grow and flower again.
There will always be cycles in relationship, ebbs and flows of more togetherness, or less. And yet if there is a deep commitment to share a life journey and receive the spiritual teachings of relationship, then 2 people are CONSTANTLY growing and evolving TOGETHER. Weaving souls in mysterious ways to support one another to break through, and claim this beauty of life. RISING Together.
For deeper personal evolution work with Adya privately go to Woman Rising mentoring – http://sacredseed.com.au/woman-rising/